Blotto, Twinks and the Bootlegger's Moll

It’s almost too ghastly to say, darlings, but Blotto and la famille are facing…call it an embarrassment of no riches. No, I wouldn’t have imagined it, either, but this is the 1920s, famed for financial reversals. At any rate, things are so dire that the Dowager Duchess—oh she’s a tiger, an absolute tiger!—is packing dearest Blotto off to America, if you can believe it, to marry some hideous heiress and make her the Duchess of Tawcester. Well of course Twinks is going with him: I adore Blotto but left on his own he couldn’t find America from New York Harbor. Oh no, they’ve got a girl all picked out, the daughter of some man named Chapstick, in Chicago. Daddy says this Chapstick fellow is bound to be an unspeakable gangster who carries a machine gun and wears those vulgar hats, but I’m sure that can’t be right. I mean, Blotto and Twinks involved with gangsters? It would be too funny for words!